In the immortal words of pop-culture writer, genius and personal savior Chuck Klosterman, relationships are essentially one big power struggle. Whoever likes the other person less is the one with all the power.
"The problem is that the situation is almost tragically unbalanced. Inevitably, one of the people has been in love with the other since the day they met, while the other person is either (a) wracked with guilt and pressure, or (b) completely oblivious to the espoused attraction.”
My problem is, I can’t disagree with him. This is, indeed, how the world works. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s right. Sure, you want to be the one holding all the cards – if you’re a complete coward.
Games are rarely won on a safe bet, and relationships aren’t about sleight of hand or stacking the deck in your favor. It’s about looking at your meager two pair against his straight flush and laying it all on the line. And if he likes you back, odds are, he’ll fold.
But if he doesn’t, then it could be that he’s more interested in winning than winning you. And you have to ask yourself if you really want to be with someone like that anyway. If I had a dollar for every time I professed my love for someone who was more interested in hoarding his chances than actually taking one, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. But at least I played the game.
Of course, sometimes you end up acquiring all the cards by less strategic means. I’ve also had the unfortunate experience of possessing lesser feelings than my partner – but definitely not by choice or as a result of any kind of conscious manipulation. Sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw.
In the end, I suppose the best we can hope for is finding someone removed from the game entirely. Or maybe just move to another table.
"The problem is that the situation is almost tragically unbalanced. Inevitably, one of the people has been in love with the other since the day they met, while the other person is either (a) wracked with guilt and pressure, or (b) completely oblivious to the espoused attraction.”
My problem is, I can’t disagree with him. This is, indeed, how the world works. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s right. Sure, you want to be the one holding all the cards – if you’re a complete coward.
Games are rarely won on a safe bet, and relationships aren’t about sleight of hand or stacking the deck in your favor. It’s about looking at your meager two pair against his straight flush and laying it all on the line. And if he likes you back, odds are, he’ll fold.
But if he doesn’t, then it could be that he’s more interested in winning than winning you. And you have to ask yourself if you really want to be with someone like that anyway. If I had a dollar for every time I professed my love for someone who was more interested in hoarding his chances than actually taking one, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. But at least I played the game.
Of course, sometimes you end up acquiring all the cards by less strategic means. I’ve also had the unfortunate experience of possessing lesser feelings than my partner – but definitely not by choice or as a result of any kind of conscious manipulation. Sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw.
In the end, I suppose the best we can hope for is finding someone removed from the game entirely. Or maybe just move to another table.
0 comments:
Post a Comment